LOVE

SO here's my take on Valentine's Day.. I love celebrating. I love holidays. I love love. So, naturally I LOVE Valentine's Day. Even when I was heartbroken or single, I just loved being able to celebrate all the beautiful friendships around me and love of family. Now that I'm engaged, there seems to be this heavy pressure and expectation to have THE perfect date night or layout for my blog to display that our relationship is real and awesome and we're in love.. BUT that's just not real life. We don't have it together all the time and to be honest we haven't planned anything for Valentine's Day because we've been so BUSY planning OUR wedding LOL and like DOING life and it just swept by (did an event at Fair Market all day today for Dell Children's Fashion show SO FUN AKA exhaused).. I was emotionally and physically and spiritually depleted after these last few weeks.. I got upset at Blake (fiance) because I wanted some elaborate night planned and then I caught myself about an hour ago and realized...a night in or a night out.. doesn't define our love.

Yes, of course, as part of my emotional human brain.. I want to  feel special and celebrate!.. but that looks different at different stages in your life. Right now, it means remembering that I am fully loved not because of what I've done or how I perform but because of Jesus.. and Blake loves me so hard every single day. Its easy to get caught up.. and it tends to happen around each holiday for me but I want to live a life that is full of real, genuine relationships.. the hard kind of love..the kind that takes work and sacrifice.. that takes forgiveness and tears and grace and more grace. I am beyond blessed to have met the man that feels like home and leads me to pursue my first love - God - on the reg.